Untitled (10.12.2017)
The first time I saw your cock I was drunk
Walk in a crooked line miss your subway stop, drunk
I watched the case of lukewarm Budweiser under your desk while you fucked me
The alcohol sloshed up and down
Back and forth
I thought about hamburgers
Why did I let you stay inside me for so long?
I’ve searched the universe
Looked between every grain of sand
Desperately moved all the stars
Nothing.
The day you moved out I came up for air
Inhaled fully for the first time in two years
Felt the pulse in my arms
I fucked someone new that night
And the next night too
I slept alone, starfish
Woke up to myself
Adopted a cat
Read a hundred books
Smiled
Talked
Laughed
Wrote this poem
Today Nolan said, “all relationships are doomed.”
I said, “not the one I have with myself.”